Ryukyu Ai process
I started thinking about this project, almost a year to the date of execution. I was hearing things about going back to ones’ land of origin for rediscovery. I found this excerpt in one of my notes: what if a work is calling to even when you don’t understand it? I tried and failed indigo projects in the past: indigo denim, indigo cotton from Bangladesh, and now it was calling to the place I was partially from. Ten years, 8 to 18 of growing up on the stranded, simplistic, and beautiful island of Okinawa, where my dad is from.
There were a couple lessons along the way teaching me what this project was about. One was the “Blue Gold” exhibition in the Mingei International Museum in San Diego this past Fall. Though I was able to absorb various facets of history, practice, and expression the things that stood out to me were about identity and a relationship to the planet. I also felt this question being asked of me, what does indigo mean to you?
I was also taken by the wall of kimonos and coats. It’s interesting that current society now values brands or names because of what they have innovated or stand for. The simple and classic garments stood with greater presence to me, maybe because of the intentions, quality, and care by their makers? Or the tradition, reasoning, and aesthetic they hold related to cultural values of practical function and a different facet of beauty and design.
What always surprises me is how much I consistently gravitate to blue and white. Subconsciously it might be the constant needed connection to the natural landscape that we are so interconnected with but unaware of. I’m still understanding what having a reciprocal relationship to nature actually means when I don’t feel dependent on it for my survival. I recently had a brief conversation with a woad hobby grower (the natural dye plant for blue, mostly cultivated in Europe). She let me know she grew it because she felt connected to it and its personal symbolism to her. That was a new idea to me, but I liked it.
As far back as I can remember, my favorite color has been blue. Favorite sweatshirt, I wore through my teens, navy blue. My Okinawan grandmother brought me all the gifts in blue when she visited us, including buying me a pair of blue Converse high tops that I really liked. It’s hard to fully articulate what this love for blue actually means, other than, in a very transcendent way, that in just appreciating and being with it can create a transference of its essence – which is a very personal experience. Being in blue water, pool or ocean, gives me the feeling of being more than a body. Floating and forgetting gravity is a great sensation to forget limitations of having to function in the material world. It is a reminder that we are more than this.
The blue sky speckled with white clouds is always a reminder of the calm hope that always awaits us to continue to imagine in our expansive reality. It is always a cooling and calming invitation, granted if it’s sunny, to float up into the new. Create your own definition based on the type of forecast you are mostly living in. Alternatively, the deep blue spectrum that almost takes us into black is just as alluring as it presents fear of the unknown. Very much a mirror to the mythological stories of going deep into the underworld to excavate treasure. I’m sure many of us can relate to the fears we’ve had to descend into our own darkness without knowing there was something to be found. By nature it might only be our weight of darkness within that takes us, or sinks us, into the depths.
Throughout this project, I took a deeper dive into the history and some current political issues in Okinawa that did bring up some darkness within me. Dense feelings of helplessness about what had and is being done by those who have the choice and power. These dense feelings felt very common, and what had been sitting in the background now appeared more vividly. I didn’t realize the degree of inferiority, powerlessness, rage, and helplessness against the powerful sat so strongly within me until I saw it outside of myself, being mirrored in the political issues of the past and present.
Initially I thought this project would be addressing and presenting all of these issues involving land reclamation, power structures, militarization, and destruction of the environment. Ironically, I found the greatest areas of making peace with the political and historical injustices was to make peace within myself and present harmony. Letting go of so-called enemies and seeing them as victims to their own vices allowed me to feel a sense of equality and connectedness instead of separation and fear. Seeing the stillness, beauty, and perfection and harmony in the Yanbaru forest reminded me everything is in perfect order. Nature can look chaotic from its exterior presentation, but when felt and not seen there is a beautiful harmonious frequency, constantly admitting from all living things. The more I continue to align, envision, and be with this sentiment – it allows this reality to be perpetuated and transformed. It goes back to the Gandhian principle of be the change you wish to see. As much as I can say that, it is still hard for the mind to see this as a truly powerful and transformative act but I’ve accepted that it’s all I can do for now.
Throughout this project, I often meditated and felt the sufferings of the people of Okinawa through this traditional folk song. This powerful song celebrates the tragedies and triumphs of what has and is still happening in Okinawa. I also found it as a powerful medium to extract past painful memories and also celebrate the gifts of the journey. Here is Hana sung by Rimi Natsukawa.